Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
