I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize