but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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