Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
