I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
