he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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