just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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