As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
