Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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