This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
