i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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