Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
