elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
