I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
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i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "