He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?