OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
