...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
