I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
