You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize