I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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