Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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