pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize