You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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