There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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