i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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