I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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