we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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