Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?

(1-512): View more from Texas

pretty standard. you have fun last night?

(512): View more from Texas

apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?

(1-512): View more from Texas

typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

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(512): just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long? (1-512): pretty standard. you have fun last night? (512): apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean? (1-512): typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat. http://tfl.nu/ntbz

Replies (8) Good night (1481) Bad night (496)
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(718): View more from New York

My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.

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(718): My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life. http://tfl.nu/tfvf

Replies (35) Good night (596) Bad night (4688)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.

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(201): If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now. http://tfl.nu/xijf

Replies (7) Good night (2851) Bad night (655)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.

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(612): There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps. http://tfl.nu/vyep

Replies (14) Good night (2616) Bad night (934)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.

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(678): Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him. http://tfl.nu/ayc4

Replies (47) Good night (1789) Bad night (4625)
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(516): View more from New York

I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.

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(516): I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified. http://tfl.nu/1mep

Replies (21) Good night (1084) Bad night (3548)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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(757): I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out. http://tfl.nu/cmh8

Replies (7) Good night (802) Bad night (2379)
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(705): View more from Ontario

We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?

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(705): We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL? http://tfl.nu/ejsn

Replies (12) Good night (2772) Bad night (620)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm drinking too much free beer

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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(651): I'm drinking too much free beer (508): Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible. http://tfl.nu/a7hm

Replies (14) Good night (2377) Bad night (1069)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

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(404): Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire. http://tfl.nu/nkea

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (383)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.

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(678): Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS. http://tfl.nu/1c5m

Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (437)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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(727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa

Replies (10) Good night (411) Bad night (347)
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(408): View more from California

My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine

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(408): My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine http://tfl.nu/4len

Replies (5) Good night (221) Bad night (420)
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(317): View more from Indiana

There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl

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(317): There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl http://tfl.nu/t02v

Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (336)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed

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(202): He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed http://tfl.nu/r14n

Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (134)

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