Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
