you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize