I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize