I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize