It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
