I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
