She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize