He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
