shes about as inviting as chlamydia
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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