What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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