Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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