people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
