she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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