I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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