I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
