hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
