this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
