Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
