You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
