um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You don't make any sense
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