xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
