:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
