Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
