Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I love you.
Bad choice
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
