he shaved USA in his pubs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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