when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
