If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize