I think my vagina is haunted
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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