My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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