Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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